Don’t call a hotline, this isn't a cry for help
(on the topic of anxiety)
It’s like trying to put out a house fire
But you don’t know where the fire started
Or which rooms are burning
It’s like triggering a silent alarm
That only you can hear
And wondering when they will figure out you set it off
It’s like riding tandem bikes
With an unwilling partner
Making the uphills more treacherous
It’s like looking over your shoulder
At every passing stranger
Expecting nothing less than constant danger
It’s like a burglar who comes in the daylight hours
And steals your happy memories leaving behind tainted ones
So only you notice something is missing
Unfinished
The finite aspects of life are not forgotten on me
Living life as if you are immortal
As if every day is your last
So you must seize the day
Can only be kept up for a finite amount of time
Because at some point your mind may play tricks
Thoughts in the very crevices of your mind may surface
Ones that you desperately try to keep tucked under neatly folded bedsheets
Sometimes the finite nature of life comes in waves
When you think of emails floating through cyberspace
Their destinations being the inbox of the deceased
Or the waves can crash and hit the shore
Leaving foam bubbles scraping at the seashells behind
The pieces cracked but still attached
Because they once were whole not long ago.
The idea of invincibility was conceived by a youthful mind
Because once too many years pass
The thought of living forever becomes a distant memory
Too painful to be rehashed
There are those who wish to leave a legacy
An imprint on the world
For coming generations to see that everything is not fleeting
And some things can be solid
Engraved in the minds of willing participants
Of those who did not opt to alter their memories
Or their thoughts, perceptions, fibre of being
Those few who understood early that life
is not meant to be lived like a fire that fizzles fast
Because as I have realized there is a way to live in the moment
Without spontaneous combustibility being the only outcome
It is a function of who you surround yourself with
The mind is selectively permeable
And small charges can evade the barrier.
Fundamentals of Humanity is a 22 year old masters student from Toronto, working on Fatty Liver Disease, by day. By night, she writes poetry about the human experience. She began writing to process how she was feeling during her undergraduate years and she found a safe space when putting her feelings into words. She writes to communicate thoughts and feelings that are deemed vulnerable. She hopes that if people read her words, and if they resonate, they too will become okay with being vulnerable.
Follow Fundamentals of Humanity on Instagram @fundamentalsofhumanity
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